Friday, June 13, 2008

Gillman Wisconsin at Jimmy’s Uncle Dave and Aunt Barb’s house

Gillman Wisconsin at Jimmy’s Uncle Dave and Aunt Barb’s house

The rain is falling again outside and it is cold and windy here. The heater is on in mid-June and I’m wearing a fleece jacket inside. There is thunder and lightening and that is a novelty for me now, though I knew these things once. When I look at how beautiful it is here outside, so green and thick with trees and grasses and all sorts of vegetation, I have to remember what they go through to get that. I told Jimmy to remind me why we don’t live here, then the mosquitos did it for him. Hot and humid and buggy in the summer and freezing cold and covered with snow in the winter. It occurs to me that I have never been outside in below zero weather, ever. I don’t think below 20 degrees. I’ve rarely seen snow. I think it is likely too late for me to adapt to weather like they have here, as beautiful as it is.

Watching Jimmy with his family has been great fun. He is different with them. Still Jimmy, but differently. It occurs to me as I watch the changes that I’m different around other people too. I wonder how? How am I different with my mom, with my friends, with strangers...?

I think I miss some of those parts of me when I don’t get to be with certain people. I am working to keep those people with me energetically, the people who bring out the best parts of me. I am always me, and, there are parts of me that I enjoy more than others and that fit more with my choices about who I want to be in the world. Some people, Jimmy for sure, and other people too, bring that out in me in unique ways. Something about that person taps in to something really important to me and lights it up. Then, when I’m with them I feel more connected to that part of me. I like that and want more of it so I want to be with this person more. The trick is, how to hold them, and that part of me, close to me when they are not physically near. As I leave my friends and family behind to head further and further into this adventure it is a skill I hope to practice often.

On our way to Milwaukee, we stopped at the Ory farm in central Wisconsin. We didn't know they'd be here. Jimmy's Aunt Barb found them while she was out camping. The name Ory is unique to my family so if you carry that name we are related. We made a connection and headed on. This morning we go to meet Jimmy’s parents and I get to meet Jimmy again, with another new aspect of him. This should be good...

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