Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Farther From Familiar

As we move further and further from the life I have known, I find myself feeling more deeply into the relationships that are now my anchor. I am anchored, of course, inside myself to the person I am, to my beliefs and my values, to my understanding of the Universe and my place in it. That is good. I am also deeply anchored to my people. As I move away from the physical place my life has been grounded to I feel the energy of my relationships so much more. Jimmy is my main connection, constant and steady he is there when I feel uncertain and need to reach out and touch something solid and unmoving. (He will laugh when he reads that description of himself but it’s true..).

I find myself taking great care of all of these connections. I reach out to friends and family and make sure they know how I feel about them. I let solid steady Jimmy be there for me and try to be careful not to ask too much, not to forget I can steady myself too. I hear my phone ring, it’s Erica, it’s Wendi, it’s Maggie... I have a long conversation about change and stuck-ness with my friend John whose house will be our last US stop on this journey. As I nurture these connections I am aware that as my life changes the way I stay connected with these people will also change. I will add to this list as I build community in the new place we are going. The physical world I live in will no longer feel familiar but the sound of a voice I know will always be something I can lean in to remember that life is a single moment that follows millions of other moments and precedes millions more. That constancy, that flow, and feeling my place in it is comforting to me right now.

As we pass through each place Jimmy asks me if I have ever been there before, he tells me whether he has or if it is “the first time ever in my (his) whole life”. (in spite of the simple truth of that statement it never fails to send me into a fit of giggles). While sometimes my answer is “yes, I have been here before” even so it is not familiar to me because I have not been in this place on this day with this man before so the moment is new to me. For example, I have never before “in my whole life” been through this straw maze on the coast of Northern California with this man on this journey....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Annie and Jimmy,
How is it that you can be so artistic in both words and photos? I am inspired by your artistry. Love,